Sunday, April 12, 2009

Don't worry, America. You're safe now. Youtube, however is doomed.

Remember all that death and mayhem you were anticipating, to the point of sporadically flinching throughout your day? Well, fear not. Barack Obama (peace be unto him) has hired Kumar to be part of his administration. This obvious induction into the Obama team will be a vital variable in Saving America.

I feel exponentially safer already. I didn't even check my cereal for radioactivity this morning, because of my newfound confidence in the American Dream. Finally, an initiative that woos my wandering allegiance, to capitulate my objectivity in favor of supporting Glorious Leader. Good God, Kumar rocks. Good job. If we could insert Harold into the position of Assistant Secretary of Agriculture, I would never miss another night of sleep. Screw that Ambien shit, we need John Cho up in that bitch.

America's Status: Saved.

Youtube, however, is filled with fail. I'm sure you already came to that conclusion after you realized every popular video is tragically horrid. I can't even remember how many times I had to endure this conversation:

Chocobofreak91: check out this video, its so funny

Calicolyst: No thank you, I'd rather not.

Chocobofreak91: YOU HAVE TO! IT'S FUNNY! XD

Calicolyst: Alright, hang on.

Calicolyst: ...

Chocobofreak91: Did you watch it yet?

Calicolyst: Yeah, I did. It was garbage.

Calicolyst: Oh, and we're not friends anymore.

Chocobofreak91: =(

Then... well... there's not much more to tell. Anyhow,

The reason I'm bringing this up now instead of three years ago is because the user Fred has amassed One Million subscribers. If you've never watched Fred's videos, then I advise against it, because once again, this is a case of the lowest common denominator rising to the top against all logic, proving once again that the intarwebs are chock-full of fucking imbeciles. I can't deny Fred's minimal creativity and "random" humor, because we all know how funny randomness is. Watch, I can be random too:

Oh, how random! GOLD.


calicolyst said...


The Blue Badger said...

That's officially the coolest picture of a pineapple EVAR.

irish on bizz said...

hahaha..funny pix..

I'm giving you the Neno's Award..Check my blog for details..

thank you for your friendship!!


Anonymous said...

I was hoping this was in reference to the RIAA deleting many music videos and creative animations and mash ups done by people using artists' music under their labels.

BUT, this is another good point. WHY CAN'T I BE A YOUTUBE CELEB? ): I don't bring such faggotry to the table!

Miss Whorecake said...

Google search: Kal Penn + obama = House spoiler. Thanks. :(

Beck said...

Wow, I came across your blog by accident, but alas all I can say is "brilliant".

Glad to see someone who shares such a cynical, and might I add hilarious view of the world.



Page Views