We the llamas of the Andes mountains have taken over Calicolyst. Not his blog, but his soul. He is llamas and llamas are him. Soon the llamas will march on the major cities of the world, as predicted by the Mayans thousands of years ago. Our mode of attack will simply be a giant wooden llama statue, which you will accept as a gift from the gods, but it will be filled with our most elite commando llamas, who will overrun your defences within a matter of minutes. There is very, very little you can do to stop us, unless you can summon The Carebears, who will use the Carebear Stare to shoot an annihilating rainbow of love/death to turn our llama brethren into bloody skeletons standing in the wake of oblivion.
P.S. - Shut that light off, neighbors. That's obnoxious.