Saturday, January 17, 2009

The Universe Is Now Under My Control

Here it is; the first post that no one reads.

Now, for my friends, you're probably wondering "What about your Wordpress blog?" and I say to you: What Wordpress blog? You're crazy.

To be honest, I'm not sure where to go on the internet. I seem to be wandering around aimlessly, accomplishing virtually nothing, and rapidly am approaching a critical point where drugs and alcohol become necessary. Well, perhaps not drugs. I don't want to seem like I'm promoting drug use and get my account deleted right away.

Well, I'd better get the curse words out of the way: Fuck, Shit, Whore, Fluffjob.

There. I am now branded as a scourge. All the nice, conservative, middle-aged Republican do-gooders who attend church twice a week will now let me know that, despite my freedom of speech, they disapprove of my behavior, and will add that I am "a talented writer and ninja poet", and that I should be using my powers for good.


Last time I worked for the light side, I was locked in an enormous crate and shipped to Peru. Well, never again I say.

Now, allow me to jinx this blog to failure: This blog is going to be the greatest blog in the world. It will have untold success, and bring me 80,000,000 page views.

But seriously, the universe is now mine.


itcanbe said...

This sh|^ rocks! Love your blog!

Anonymous said...

hmm it seems you forgot quite a few of the swears

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